'Leave us alone': teens plea to parents suffering from exams stress

stress, teens, exams
Britain's stressed out teenagers just want their parents to leave them alone during exam time Credit: Getty Images

Britain's stressed out teenagers just want their parents to leave them alone during exam time, according to a new report.

For the latest research shows that exam stress will affect 8 in 10 teens' behaviour, health or appearance this summer.

But the study warns that parents can also be a key distraction or even frustration, with many teens pleading to be left alone to revise.

And the report highlights the best and worst things that parents can say or do during the fraught revision period.

With just weeks to go until the exam period, a new study by National Citizen Service (NCS), the country's flagship youth empowerment programme, reveals the expected impacts of exam stress on the health, hygiene and mood of British teenagers over the course of the revision period and how parents can not only spot the signs but avoid adding to the pressure and fuelling anxiety levels.

mental health, stress, exams, teens, parents
The survey of 1,000 teenagers taking exams this summer showed 78 per cent expect exam stress to have negative impacts to their appearance, health or mental state Credit: PA

The survey of 1,000 teenagers taking exams this summer showed 78 per cent expect exam stress to have negative impacts to their appearance, health or mental state in some way during the revision period with many eating more or less than usual, one in ten not having time to shower or change their clothes and one in five not leaving the house for days. Stress will even cause some teens to sit alone in the dark in angst, whereas others may show signs of anger.

Janey Downshire, specialist in teenage development from Teenagers Translated, says: "Witnessing these often concerning changes can be difficult for parents and it can be very hard not to jump in and get involved. However, whilst it's important to keep an eye on any dramatic changes in appetite, sleep patterns and behaviours, sometimes being overly anxious ourselves can inflame the situation even further."

In fact most teens say the best thing parents can do to help is to try not to strike up conversations when they are busy but instead just leave them alone until they're ready to talk[vi] or better yet keep siblings out of the way too... except when it comes to bringing in regular refreshments, cooking their favourite meals or giving them something to look forward to when it's all over.

'It can be hard for parents'

Janey continues: "Being available when you're child needs you is important, and offering to cook for them and helping with their laundry does offer powerful messages of love, reassurance and support. It can be hard for a parent not to worry over what work they are, or are not doing, but if parents can hold off, a child gets a sense that they know you trust them to get on with it and believe they'll do their best.

"Ultimately your relationship will benefit in the long run and they'll learn to come to you when they need advice. Giving them something to look forward to, like a holiday or something like the NCS programme, can also be a great motivator to help them through."

Procrastination techniques

The study indicates the most detrimental things parents can do during the revision period include confiscating technology , micromanaging revision calendars or saying things like "shouldn't you be revising" or "how can you think with that music/YouTuber/screen on" . Whilst social media is both a distraction and procrastination tool, with teens expected to spend an additional 43 hours on social media during a six week revision period, one in ten cite parents and over a quarter cite siblings as their biggest distraction from revision.

The study also looked at teenagers' unusual procrastination methods with the average teenager concentrating on revision for 38 minutes before becoming distracted. Some teenagers even go as far as dressing up their pets, cleaning the house or reorganising their DVD/book collections to avoid studying. Others also admit to using superstition or revision rituals to get them through exams such as wearing lucky pants or having a lucky pen, putting notes in weird places around the house or only revising at certain times e.g. one minute past the hour.

License this content